Isn’t summer wonderful? So, are we all ready to put on a swimsuit? Hmm… some of us would rather walk on a board with a gang of bloodthirsty pirates behind us and a gang of sharks with their jaws wide open waiting for us to jump before going “public” in swimsuits. About 80% of American adults over 40 say they are “uncomfortable” with how they look in swimsuits. A shocking 50% of middle-aged American women say they would rather “have a heart attack” than wear a bathing suit in public.

My grandkids want me to take them to a resort pool and ride down the slides. Hey, I’m a grandma and not in the mood to hang out by the pool with a hundred people. If I want to wear a bathing suit, it will be in the privacy of my own garden. And then again, maybe not. I have to buy a bathing suit because I will soon be spending my annual family vacation in San Diego. We all love splashing around in the ocean and maybe grabbing a boogie board to ride a wave.

I hate the thought of having to buy a bathing suit! Have you done this recently? It’s intimidating to walk into a store and try one on. This is not an exercise for the weak, as only the brave can survive. There, under the pitiless fluorescent lights and the horror of one-way mirrors, it is “the hour of reckoning” that will make many women physically sick. Every bulge, ripple, bump, bump, cellulite, fat, belly and thigh will be completely and grossly exposed. Every potato chip, high-carb treat, piece of pie, and plate of pasta is suddenly staring at you in a full room or mirrors. It’s more terrifying than a “Fun House”. There’s no pity, no denial – just absolute honesty made worse by the glare of bright lights!

A woman in her 60s went shopping in a swimsuit in a mall with her husband. She went into the dressing room, tried on a bathing suit, and when she stood in front of the one-way mirror, she was so horrified that she let out a blood-chilling “Noooooo.”

A salesman called security. Her husband, who was elsewhere in the store, heard his wife’s screams and ran into the women’s locker room to arrest whoever was killing her. He was met by a woman who was going out and hit him several times with her purse until he was also screaming. Oh yeah, shopping for swimwear can get ugly.

Need a swimsuit? Carefree. Head to the gym, run that mile, lift those weights, skip the dessert and come October you’ll look fabulous! Or, go ahead, expose yourself and be proud! Why shouldn’t everyone, all shapes and sizes, have fun this summer? It may take determination to try on a swimsuit and courage to wear it, but we can do it! My solution? I could have a wetsuit. It’s the perfect cover-up with head-to-toe spandex! See you at the beach!